Windows Vista Error: User Profile Cannot Be Loaded

Windows Vista has an anomaly (that's marketing-speak for bug) that prevents users from logging in. One day you attempt to log in, and Vista responds with 'The user profile service failed the log on. User profile cannot be loaded.'

Here's how to fix it:

• Work in Windows Safe Mode
1. reboot the computer
2. during the boot process - at exactly the right moment before Windows opens - press
   
   • the way to get the 'right moment' is to tap once each second until the Safe Mode screen appears - it is a screen with a black background and a lot of white text
   • if Windows delivers a standard Windows login screen , you missed the moment in which you can start Safe Mode
   • if so, reboot and try again (and again and again) until you enter the Safe Mode screen
3. when in the Safe Mode screen, left-click on Safe Mode (it is usually at the top of the screen); you will jump to the Safe Mode desktop, which looks like a very plain Windows desktop
   
• Perform a System Restore
  1. left-click on
  2. left-click on Accessories
  3. left-click on System Tools
  4. left-click on System Restore; you will jump to a screen that resembles a calendar and lists several Restore Points
     
  5. select the most recent Restore Point
  6. follow the on-screen instructions to restore your computer's system to the last known good configuration
     
  7. do not interfere with the process - allow it to complete and to automatically reboot;
• After the reboot, Windows will (or at least, should) let you log in.

How To Make Windows Vista Look Like Windows XP

How To Make Windows Vista Look Like Windows XP

The problem:

I have friends who complain that they don't like the look-and-feel of Windows Vista. They want to get rid of all the Vista visual elements such as the round Start button and replace them with the XP visuals.

Windows Vista Desktop	Windows XP Desktop

You can make Vista look-and-feel like the more familiar XP.

The following procedure will produce a Vista computer with an XP look-and-feel. It's quick, it's easy, and it's almost fool-proof.

1. Left-click on  
2. In the Start menu,
   • Right click Computer
   • Select Properties
     
   or
   • Left-click on Control Panel
   • Left-click on System
3. In the left-hand Tasks pane, left-click Advanced System Settings
4. In the UAC dialog box
• left-click on  
or
• enter the name and password for the machine's administrator
5. On the Advanced tab, left-click Performance
6. On the Performance tab, left-click on  
7. Left-click "Adjust for Best Performance"

Be aware:
Changing the above, and then resetting back to the original, might alter some of your toolbars and desktop icons. That's the "almost" part of "almost foolproof."

Some Children Left Behind

From A School Secretary:

I am trying to e-mail a parent that never answers the phone because they are on the internet. Here is the message I received in response:

Delivery has failed to these recipients or distribution lists:

not.the.real.name@aol.com

An error occurred while trying to deliver this message to the recipient's e-mail address.

Microsoft Exchange will not try to redeliver this message for you. Please try resending this message, or provide the following diagnostic text to your system administrator.

The following organization rejected your message: rly-df01.mx.aol.com.

Do you have any suggestions?

Analysis:

The problem is one of the following:

1. the e-mail address is invalid
2. there is a problem with AOL mail server
3. the parent has been too busy on-line to pay the AOL bill
4. AOL's mail server thinks you're a spammer (your domain has been treated as a spammer in the past)
5. AOL's mail server's filter is rejecting your e-mail because of something in your e-mail's content

Your mail server is sending your message, receiving the reply, and placing the reply in your Inbox - just as it is supposed to do.

#1 is most likely.

Remedial action:

1. Hand-write or compose & print the message
2. Call the child into the office
3. Pin or glue the message to whatever part of the child (or clothes) is most likely to get the parent's attention. I can guarantee that attaching the note to the kid's hair, using chewing gum, will work.

or

Teach the child how to unplug the computer, thus freeing up both the parent and the phone line.

Sometimes New Versions Just Plain Suck Part II

Speaking of newer versions, what ever happened to McCain v.2000? THAT was a great version. 

Even McCain v.2006 was OK.

McCain 2008 is like Windows Vista: it sucks, sucks, sucks, especially when compared to the alternatives. Its add-on module is even worse.

I recommend sticking with the ones with the African-sounding names: Ubuntu, Kubuntu, Xubuntu, Obama.

Sometimes New Versions Just Plain Suck Part I

The suckiest of new versions? Vista. I have a customer who would return the computer, if she could (she threw out the boxes & using UPS packaging would be frightfully expensive). HP won't help with drivers for XP so that we can safely downgrade. Actually, XP is an upgrade> from Vista, but I digress.

Meanwhile, Ubuntu just keeps getting better. If you are a Windows user and want to try Ubuntu, I recommend its brother, Kubuntu or its extra light/extra fast little sister, Xubuntu.

The downside to the Ubuntu family is that compared to Windows 

• they are faster
  
• they can run well on older, less powerful computers
  
• they are more secure
  
• they run thousands of programs - including Windows programs (even Windows Vista has problems running Windows software);
• most software for Ubuntu is free, while most software for Windows is quite expensive
  
• they (the Ubuntu family of computer operating systems) are free 
  • Windows' latest version - Vista - has several versions; the  cheapest version retails for $199.99 at Target
  • Vista's most expensive version is priced at Amazon.com for $399.99

Crashed Computer

I can't do anything today.

Something crashed on my computer.... and my mouse is missing.

How and Why (first reason) to use Safe Mode

News Flash! Sometimes things go wrong with computers. Yesterday we discussed how to invoke Windows' Safe Mode. Safe Mode is one of the tools you can use to diagnose and repair Windows' problems. Our first problem (and its fix)is things going wrong after you added / changed hardware or changed a "driver." Note: you'll have to print these instructions because they will not be available on-screen while you perform these steps.

1. How: There are two ways to get where you need to be for out first possible fix:
   
   • If you have NOT added the safe boot option to your startup menu
     • At the right moment, press the F8 key. Be alert: your window of opportunity is small
     • If you miss that opportunity, Windows will start normally.
     • You should let Windows finish its startup process.
     • Then re-boot and try again.
     • Keep trying until you get it right.
     Now you know why I recommend adding the Safe Mode option to Windows.
   • If you have added the safe boot option to your startup menu
     • Start the computer.
     • When the Options menu appears,rather than selecting an operating system, press the F8 key
   
   Either method will open the Safe Mode Options Menu.
   
   The first thing to try when using Safe Mode to recover from a system problem is invoking the Last Known Good Configuration option.At the Safe Mode Options Menu,
   
   
   • Use the arrow keys to highlight Last Known Good Configuration
   • press the ENTER key. NOTE: NUM LOCK must be off before the arrow keys on the numeric keypad will function.
   • Follow the screen prompts. When instructed,
   • reboot the system
   • test to see if the original problem is fixed.


2. WHY: Choosing Last Known Good Configuration provides a way to recover from problems such as a newly added driver that may be incorrect for your hardware. It does not solve problems caused by corrupted or missing drivers or files.

   You should use the Last Known Good Configuration as soon as you discover a problem which occurred right after you changed a driver or added/changed hardware.

Tomorrow: More ways to use Safe Mode.

Recover From Windows Problems (Add Safe Mode To The Boot Menu)

News Flash! Sometimes things go wrong with computers. One of the tools you can use to diagnose and repair some problems is Windows' Safe Mode. To use Safe Mode, restart the computer. During the start up you have a brief moment in which you can press the F8 key. Pressing F8 allows you to use Safe Mode. Catching the correct moment is a challenge. However, you can force Windows to present a menu from which you can select Safe Mode. Hint: print these instructions - they are not available while you are performing the listed tasks.

1. Right-click My Computer
2. Left-click Properties.
3. Left-click the Advanced tab.
   Under Startup and Recovery,
4. Left-click the Settings button.
5. Left-click Edit.
   The boot.ini file will open in Notepad. In the boot.ini file,
6. Copy the line that reads as follows:
   multi(0)disk(0)rdisk(0)partition(1)\WINDOWS=”Microsoft Windows XP Professional” /fastdetect.
7. Paste the line you just copied after the original one.
8. Change the second line - the one you just pasted -
   from “Microsoft Windows XP Professional”
   to “Windows XP Safe Mode” or something similar (the exact text of this step is not important).
9. At the end of this line add the following: /safeboot:minimal /sos /bootlog.
10. Save the boot.ini file
    • Left-click File.
    • Left-click Save.
    • Left-click OK.
    • Left-click OK.
11. Restart your computer.

Safe Mode should be available at the boot menu.

Tomorrow: How and Why to use Safe Mode

Speed Up Windows XP (more)

There are thousands of little ways to make your computer run slower than it could. Microsoft manages to make all the wrong choices on those. Fortunately, guys like I can help correct Microsoft's bungles. That's why you pay us the big bucks.

Hard drive technology is constantly evolving. One of the areas where improvements have been made is in how the hard drive (and DVD/CD drive) transfer data from the drive to memory, and back from memory to the drive.

Way back when, we stopped using hamsters to power PCs. That's when 'bugs' were insects that crawled inside the machine and shorted circuits. Back then data transfer used a technology called PIO.

Nowadays the standard data transfer method - much, much faster than PIO - is DMA. Don't worry about the terminology. I'm just throwing around tech-talk to impress you.

Sometimes your hard drives and DVD/CD drives are set to use PIO instead of DMA. Here's how to check and correct (if needed) that error.

1. Find the icon called My Computer
2. Right-click My Computer
3. Left-click Properties
4. Left-click the 'Hardware' tab
5. Left-click the 'Device Manager' button
6. Halfway down the list of devices is "IDE ATA\ATAPI Controllers"
7. If "IDE ATA\ATAPI controllers" is not listed, you don't have a PIO/DMA problem. You can close down the Device Manager
8. If 'IDE ATA\ATAPI controllers' IS listed,
9. Left-click the adjacent 'plus sign'
10. Right-click 'Primary IDE Channel'
11. Left-click 'Properties'
12. Left-click the 'Advanced Settings' tab
13. 'Transfer Mode' should be set to 'DMA if available.' If it isn't, it will say 'PIO Only'
14. If needed, left-click the arrow to the right of 'PIO Only'
15. Select 'DMA if available'
16. If the program lists a 'Secondary IDE Channel,' repeat the above steps for the secondary IDE channel.
17. That's all; close all 'Properties' windows
18. Close 'Device Manager.'
    

Any speed improvement gained will show up after you re-start the computer

Speed Up Windows XP

Windows has lots of goodies built-in. Many of them are not important for the average user. Microsoft delivers products set up badly in many ways. Especially true is Microsoft's practice of turning on, by default, stuff you don't need. Each extra unneeded function causes a deterioration in system performance.

A good example is - ironically - the system performance monitor. Few people - save for some deviant techie-types - use that. Turn off performance monitoring, and you'll get a small speed improvement.

Turning of the performance monitor is easy and nearly fool-proof. Here's how:

1. Left-click the START Button
2. Left-click "Run"
3. In the Text Entry Box type 'diskperf -N'
4. Left-click the OK Button

That's all.

MicroSoft Vista, Part 2

Microsoft Vista is an operating system for personal computers. It usually is found installed on new personal computers.

For openers, let's discuss the concept of an "operating system." Simply put, the operating system is your computer's traffic cop. It directs all of the odds and ends that go on inside your computer.

All computers have an operating system - even your cell phones, your car's computer, your high-tech "IP" telephones, your "TIVO" (a TV's Video Recorder - VCR - on steroids).

If the operating system (OS) is good, you never know that it is there. It just does its job quietly, while it turns your keystrokes and mouse clicks into documents, screen images, internet 'activity', music, and the like. Good operating systems include

• Apple's Macintosh
• newer versions of Linux
• Windows XP, although it took a couple of years of patching before XP became a fairly good OS.
  

Windows Vista is still rough around the edges - and all the way through. Many industry pundits (and I) doubt that it will ever become a polished, well-running, unintrusive OS.

Technically speaking, Microsoft has stopped selling Windows XP and requires that all new PCs built by Microsoft Partners have MS Vista pre-installed. Oddly, even though XP is not longer being sold for installation on new computers, XP still outsells Vista. Go figure.

Why is that?

• Performance. Vista is overweight. It's bloated. It uses much more memory than XP or Linux. It requires a faster processor than those OSs.
• Quality. Vista is buggy.
• Usability. There are some computer components that will not work with Vista. There are MANY programs that will not work with Vista.
  

Some of those vendors - MicroSoft Partners - will thumb their noses at MicroSoft and will build you a less-expensive (but equally good or even better) PC with XP installed or with Linux installed.

They can 'install' XP because the Vista license allows you to 'downgrade' to XP. I challenge the use of the term 'downgrade,' but that's my personal problem. In any case, if you follow my advice, you'll insist that any new computer that you buy will have Windows XP - or Linux - or both - installed.

As PC operating systems go, Windows XP is a good choice. Most of the bugs have been worked out, and there is considerable available hardware and software that play nicely with XP.

It's a good time to consider Linux as an OS on any computer, new or used. Granted, Linux is not Windows, and not all Windows software will run on a Linux computer. But

1. Most Linux installations include software called "Wine". Wine is a product that is designed to enable you to run Windows software in a Linux environment. Not all WIndows programs will run under Linux/Wine, but 6500 Windows programs do....
2. Every day new Linux programs are released... programs that perform the same functions as MicroSoft-compatible programs - and usually faster than MicroSoft-compatible software,
   
3. These days, most people use computers for Internet browsing, e-mail, simple text operations such as writing letters (you know, those old-fashioned documents that required envelopes and stamps - and used complete words and complete sentences), preparing term papers, playing music, playing videos, and homework. Linux excels at all of those tasks.

Another option for running alternative operating systems is the "virtual machine." To use a virtual machine

1. take any computer running any of the Big 4 OSs: Vista, XP. Mac, Linux
2. install virtual machine software (all 4 have free VM software available)
3. use the VM software to create and install "Virtual XP", or "Virtual Vista", or "Virtual Linux" (Mac OS is different)

The virtual OS becomes a second operating system that can run simultaneously with the original OS and can share the computer's hardware resources: memory, disk drives, network, audio/video circuitry, and so on. You can switch between those 2 (or more) OSs on-the-fly without losing any data - or even with out 'losing your place' in what you were doing before the switch.

The point of all of this is that you don't have to buy a computer with an expensive, poorly written operating system (that would be Vista). You have alternatives.

MicroSoft Vista, Part 1

Don't.

A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words (more)

These web sites are guaranteed to drive your doctor nuts

Read up on all of your symptoms and diagnose yourself, then go visit the Dr. S/he will love you for it.

General Health Knowledge

• Merck The people who give you the Merck Manual
• WebMD
• Health.com Health News, Wellness, and Medical Information
• HealthAtoZ.com
• Visual Medical Dictionary & CureHunter
• Health at eNotes
• Virtual Body Your body, in English and Spanish

Specialized Health Topics

• American Association of Retired people
• Geriatrics
• American Academy Of Pediatrics

Pills

• Drugs. Everything You Always Wanted To Know About Prescription Drugs, OTC Drugs, and Natural Products
• Pill Identifier What's that weird-looking pill you stole from your neighbor's medicine cabinet?
• Medco good health information AND excellent source for mail-order prescriptions

Diseases

• Cancer.com
• American Heart Association
• Lung Diseases: Bronchitis, COPD, Emphysema and Lung Cancer
• American Lung Association

Mental Health

• Mental Health Resources
• Mental Health
• Depression Center at University of Michigan

Slightly more off-beat:

• e-Book on Self-Hypnosis
• Free Personality Tests
• Health Tutorials (caution: misspelled major word in opening paragraph may be a tip-off to the quality of information)

A Picture Is Worth A Thousand Words

Nowadays, you can substitute the word "Vista" for XP".

Can You Afford To Travel?

This site is like MapQuest or Google Maps, with an interesting wrinkle: it computes your gasoline cost for a trip.
Enter your

1. Starting Point
2. Destination
3. Gasoline price
4. Fuel ConsumptionRate (Miles Per Gallon)

DrivePricing.com computes how hard the oil companies are going to slam you to make the trip.

The MicroSoft Way

Somewhere I read this:
...Then Microsoft earned much of its dominance of the office market the old-fashioned way: By building better software."

My response:

MicroSoft has NEVER built better software. MicroSoft has ALWAYS relied on better marketing and better bullying. "If you can't beat 'em, buy 'em out or stomp on 'em and take their ideas."

The history of personal computing is littered with the corpses of dead MicroSoft competitors and products that were superior to MicroSoft's.

Also littering that history are the piles and piles of MicroSoft's really stupid 'me-too' ideas. Any one of those failures would have bankrupted most businesses. With its massive war chest, MicroSoft has weathered every blunder with barely a blip on the bottom line.

Innovation? Innovation, my a**. MicroSoft's idea of innovation is innovative sales techniques and innovative ways to crush and buy/scuttle the really good companies and the really good ideas.

And since I'm griping, I have always resented being used as a paying Gamma and Delta tester - Redmond never gets any product or service close to being right until Epsilon (and sometimes not until Theta).

-- Microsoft user since '83, Microsoft critic since '85, Microsoft share holder since'97, ex-Softie since '01,

Open HTML Email Safely

Many people send e-mails that are written using HTML. You might be, and not even know it. To send e-mails with images that display in the open e-mail, you have to use HTML. The same goes for e-mails that include music, dancing bears, and other cutesy non-essentials. I'm as guilty as the next person on that.

Most HTML e-mails are attractive (that's the reason for HTML e-mail). However, HTML e-mail has a sinister side: it can hide malicious scripts which execute when you open the e-mail.

There are several things you can do to protect your computer from naughty HTML e-mail.

• Don't open e-mail from anyone whom you don't know. Of course, this assumes that your acquaintences would neither send nor forward a bad e-mail. The latter is a big assumption; how many of your friends would know that an e-mail is 'infected?'
  


• Do NOT use the "Preview Pane" feature of any e-mail program (including Outlook and Outlook Express). If you use Preview Pane, then when you 'close" an e-mail, the next e-mail in the list automatically opens in the Preview Pane. If the 'next' e-mail contains malware, your computer will be infected or otherwise compromised. Sadly, Microsoft has "Preview Pane" set as the default. If you don't actively turn it off, then it is ON. And people wonder why I criticize MicroSoft so often....
  

Bonus for Outlook Users who want to Open HTML e-mail Safely

• Use PocketKnifePeek, a free Outlook add-in that allows you to preview your HTML email as text... thus nullifying the effects of scripts hidden in messages. Peek requires Windows and MicroSoft Outlook (NOT Outlook Express). It a small program that downloads and installs quickly: 480KB

Tech Talk

Today's site is a large collection of stories and anecdotes about computer users. how is it that someone who might in other circumstances be considered smart and wise, can sit down in front of a computer screen and instantly lose every last shred of common sense he ever possessed? Complicate this phenomenon with a case of "computerphobia," and you end up with tech support personnel having phone conversations that are funny in retrospect but seem like perfectly valid motives for wild machine gun shooting sprees at the time.

Hm-m-m-m

"Amateurs built the ark ...professionals built the Titanic.
Now let's talk about Linux and Windows."

Men and Boys, The Price of Their Toys

I'm not big on gadgets. Some people might think that UltraMobile PCs (UMPC) are gadgets. I'm here to tell you that's not so. But even if it is a gadget, it's the gadget for me.

Notebook (laptop) computers make it easy to travel with a computer. A UMPC makes it almost effortless. A UMPC is the size of a hard-bound book. It's like a notebook computer run through the wash on "HOT". UMPCs are much more durable than most laptops - they are the prototype of the "One Laptop Per Child" computers that are taking computers into remote places all around the world. Note: the hard drive is virtually indestructible; it has no moving parts!

I have the pleasure of testing an Asus EeePC. Our local school district needs inexpensive, highly portable, network/internet-ready computers for the elementary school students. Guess whom they asked to put these lil' puppies through their paces?

This little gem (2.03 pounds, 0.92 kg) comes ready-to-go with software for work and for fun. It includes the ability to connect to a network, whether it's hard-wired or wireless. That networking capability includes Internet access.

Built-ins include e-Mail, eBooks, instant messaging, world-wide-web, internet radio, skype (internet phone service), music, video, graphics (photos, etc.), word processing, spreadsheets, presentations (think PowerPoint), recording video and audio, webcam, educational programs - and more, much more.

I took this sweetheart with me on a trip. Among my daily tasks - besides e-Mail and web-surfing is administering a 2000-computer network. EeePC enabled me to do that administration from 1500 miles away. The Eee-PC did all I asked it to do. It's a small computer with big performance.

On the road, this computer can be safe from theft: it has built-in capability for Kensington locks for portable computers

The downside: you can't cram a lot of keyboard and screen into a 9" x 6 1/2" computer. You can cram in enough to suit me, given all the advantages.

The upside to the downside: when not on the road, you can use a UMPC as a home computer! Just

1. close the lid
2. plug in any standard monitor
3. plug in any USB keyboard/mouse (most are USB)
4. plug in, as needed, the included power supply/charger
   
   you can easily add - just plug in (there are lots of USB ports)
   
   
5. a USB flash drive (thumb drive)
6. a network cable [ or connect to a wireless network ]
   
7. CD/DVD player/recorder
8. USB portable drive
9. MMC/SD 'card' (from a digital camera)
10. modem (modems are so '80s and '90s)
11. headphones (there are speakers built in)
12. microphone (there is a 'mike' built in)
    

If you want to use the built-in webcam, you'll have to leave the lid open.

For details about

• UMPCs in general: Ultra Mobile Personal Computers
• Asus Eee-PC: Discover EeePc and EeePC Guide

SuperTweak

Is your computer showing its age? Has its get-up-and-go gotten-up-and-gone?

PCPitStop has some tips on how to revive it.

Top 25 XP Super Tweaks. Anyone who can follow instructions can perform all of the 'tweaks.' However, anyone intimidated by computers will shy away from some of the tips. No problem: just do the ones with which you feel comfortable.

Or package it up and send it to me. For $65 per hour + shipping, I'll do these things for you.

No Thanks, I'm Just Browsing

Web Browser:   the program that serves as your front end to the World Wide Web on the Internet.

In order to view a page - web site - you type its address (URL) into the [web]browser's Location field - or you click on a link that is embedded in another web site. Either of those feats accomplished, a page of that sought-after web site is downloaded to your browser. Then you can view that site and use its content as you wish.

You can read, view pictures, click on links to 'go to' other web sites, copy material for your next term paper, download music and movies (YouTube!), download software, research information (Google!), and much more. Your web browser can be addictive, because it is always ready to serve as your library, movie theater, music store, 'stereo', shopping mall, 'party line' (a geezer term for old telephone systems), bank teller, and much, much more.

Windows computers have the Internet Explorer web browser built-in. Macintosh OS-X includes the Safari browser. However, you aren't stuck with those 'default' choices. Depending on how you use the Internet, any of several other browsers (over 100!) might be a better choice for you.

Avant Browser is a Web browser based on Internet Explorer. It provides fast, tabbed browsing and offers many features NOT available in Internet Explorer. Need for speed? Avant might be want you want. Did I mention that it's free?

Some more free Web Browsers for Windows:

• FireFox is #1 in my book. It's feature-rich and can be made even more so with the hundreds of extensions that can be added to FireFox. FireFox 3 is much faster than earlier versions. 75 million people have downloaded and used FireFox. Best. Browser. Ever. So far.....
  
  
• Safari. Safari is excellent! It is the web browser built in to Macintosh OS-X, ported to Windows. It's my 2nd favorite.
  
• Another that I use is K-Meleon it's fast and jam-packed with features missing from the boring, everyday Internet Explorer
  
• Apocalypse Browser (zip) Apocalypse. Now.

Even more free browsers are available at ZD-Net (publisher of several computer-oriented magazines):

• Multi-Browser XP (msi)
• Lively Browser (exe)
• Acoo Browser (exe)
• Slim Browser (exe)

MicroSoft's Internet Explorer 7.x is, well, it's OK - especially if you install the free IE7Pro add-in

Did I mention that ALL of the above are free? Gratis. No charge. Yours for the asking.

What Were They Thinking?

Anyone can register a URL. Here's proof:

• Where would one go to get gifts for his/her favorite streetwalker? http://www.whorepresents.com
  


• Experts Exchange, advice for the computer-unsavvy: www.expertsexchange.com. They had the good sense to get a new address, hyphenating the URL making it www.experts-exchange.com.
  


• Need writing implements? Or implants?
  http://www.penisland.net
  


• After visiting http://www.therapistfinder.com a person just might need, um....., therapy.
  


• Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales, used to have their web site at "www.molestationnursery.com". They changed the URL to www.molestationursery.com, which didn't really help much. On the other hand, in that community, wouldn't any sign, web site, chamber of commerce brochure have the same problem?
  


• Heating with propane, natural gas, or butane might be less expensive than heating with electricity. Find out at http://www.gasheating.co.uk. OK, that one is a bit obscure, and definitely obscene.
  


• Italians who need electricity could check in at http://www.powergenitalia.com

What surprises me is that most of those web sites still exist, with web addresses unchanged.

Ripped off from webmasters-who-didnt-think-when-they - who didn't mention the 70 or so other web sites with the same list. At least I had the courtesy to mention my source.

Photographs and Memories

everystockphoto.com is a search engine for photos licensed under Creative Commons. everystockphoto.com currently indexes 271,323 photos. They "aim to be a community for designers, developers, photographers and other media publishers who want better, easier access to license-specific media on the web."

CC "adds value by providing a single integrated search, allowing users to bookmark their photos with private and public tags." They will be "offering advanced searching options, rating systems and other tools."

Creative Commons is a method of licensing creative works. You could say that Creative Commons competes with Copyrights as a method of protecting authors, artists, etc. while encouraging creative use of the protected works.

"Creative Commons licenses provide a flexible range of protections and freedoms for authors, artists, and educators. We have built upon the "all rights reserved" concept of traditional copyright to offer a voluntary "some rights reserved" approach. We're a nonprofit organization. All of our tools are free."

Did I mention that you can use the photos for free - subject to the terms of the applicable Creative Commons licenses.

What did we learn today?

1. One web site gives you access to ¼ of a million photos
2. You can use those photos at no charge (as long as you comply with the photographer's terms)
3. There's more than one way to protect creators' rights and encourage use of the creations.
4. everystockphoto.com is easier to use than a Google Images search.

OK, we didn't learn #4 today. However, if you apply Lesson #1, then #4 will be serendipituous.

Another Good Use For The Internet

Now you can find the remaining few people on earth who think that Mullets make a positive fashion statement. If you're inclined to watch Mulletheads in their natural environment, try tractor pulls, trailer parks (with or without a tornado approaching), or Wal-Mart.

While we're at it, The term Mullet(context: hair) traces back to the 1967 prison film Cool Hand Luke, starring Paul Newman and George Kennedy. Kennedy's character refers to Southern men with long hair as "Mullet Heads."

Now that we've wandered off to "Cool Hand Luke".... That movie deserves Oscars in three categories not usually covered by the Academy:
1. Most Quotable1
2. Best Scene Involving Hard-Boiled Eggs
3. Sweatiest.

1"Now, I can be a good guy, or I can be one real mean sum-bitch" - the guy with the shotgun, supervising the road-gang
"Sometimes nothing can be a pretty cool hand." -- Luke, in a high-stakes poker match
"Why you got to go and say fifty eggs for? Why not thirty-five or thirty-nine?--Luke's prison associate
"I thought it was a nice round number." -- Luke

Wisdom from Mr. Spock (Star Trek).

When you connect to that page, a tidbit of Mr. Spock's genius will be revealed.

After you read one of Mr. Spocks's pearls of wisdom, press the F5 key. The screen will present you with another quote (complete with the name of the episode in which he said what he said).

Aren't you glad to know this?

Controlling Width of E-mails and Web Pages When Printing

To make emails and web pages print - and fit left to right on the page

1. Highlight what you want to print (text and images).
2. Left-click on File
3. Left-click on Print
4. From the print menu, choose "selection"
5. Left-click on Print

Unannoying e-Mail Attachments

Many people send e-Mails with attached documents. The problem is that too many senders assume that all the recipients will see the attached document exactly as the sender intended. I get lots of those, and it is very annoying, because reading what the sender wants me to read can be quite a chore.

Here's what happens: the sender creates a document using certain software, and that software is configured in the way to sender likes the software set up. For all recipients to see the attached document exactly as the sender intended, the following must occur:
1. all of the recipients use the same software as the sender
2. those recipients who use the same software as the sender must have their software configured similar to the sender's software configuration
3. the sender must use fonts that ALL recipients have installed on their computers

Those are some very big assumptions. For instance, attached documents sent from a PC using Microsoft Word might be unreadable for several reasons:

• on a Macintosh computer, because MacIntosh users tend to prefer software other than MS Word
• not all PCs have the same word processing software installed
• PCs and Macs do not use all of the same fonts
• Not all PCs and Macs have Microsoft Word installed

Then there is the issue of malware(especially viruses). The most common method of transmitting malware is to attach viruses to documents (especially MS Word documents) - and then sending those infected files via e-mail.

The list of problems goes on and on.

There is a solution. The sender should send documents in a 'universal' format, and the recipients' computers should have the ability to read documents sent in a universal format.

That part is easy. There are three widely-used universal document formats. Most (as in 99.9999999% or more) PCs and Macs have software for reading both of those universal formats.

The formats are

• plain text - text with no formatting (think of a typewriter) no special fonts, no embedded images, etc
• HTML - the lingua franca of the Internet
• PDF - Portable Document Format

Yes, I know there is RichText Format - RTF - a glorified plain text (allows centering, font effects such as bold and italic). RTF is NOT universal for the same reasons that MS Word is not universal.

There are many free, easily used programs that will create universal files - text, HTML. and PDF from scratch or from existing files. The easiest to create is PDF. Here's how to do it on ANY PC:

1. Download and install Primo PDF.
2. Create & Save a document using ANY Word processor.
3. Primo PDF installs itself as a printer (stay with me...).
4. Print the document, but instead of printing to your usual printer, select PrimoPDF from the list of available printers.
5. Primo will ask you to name the new file and to tell Primo where it can put the new file. Tell Primo what it needs to know.
6. The document thus created will be a universal PDF file that virtually anyone with any computer can read. Primo will maintain your document's format - including fonts. Your file will appear the same on any computer.

Rather than attach the original - most likely not a 'universal' - file, attach the 'universal' PDF file that Primo created for you.

How To Get A Nice, Clean Keyboard

Methods you can use at work to get a nice, clean keyboard:

• My preferred method is to look around until I find a clean keyboard, and then swap mine for the clean one.

• Blow out nooks and crannies with a can of compressed air; wipe down all surfaces with alcohol-based wipes (not 'baby wipes' that contain aloe or such stuff)

Methods you can use at home to get a nice, clean keyboard:

• I'm not kidding: you can do a great cleanup using a dishwasher (appliance, not family member). Here's a how-to

1. unplug the keyboard from the computer before trying this - or at least turn off the computer
2. do not use any detergent - just plain water
3. do not use a hot dry cycle - air dry or hair-drier + air dry only
4. after the wash/rinse have taken place, remove the keyboard from the dishwasher
5. turn upside down (that is, turn the keyboard upside down) and shake to remove excess water
6. pour "rubbing alcohol" in openings to get alcohol to mix with residual water
7. turn upside down and shake to remove excess water/alcohol
8. let it air dry for at least a day in hot, dry weather or two days in cooler, damper weather; turn upside down and shake occassionally (the keyboard, not you); any moisture left inside will destroy the keyboard when you plug it in.
9. throw it out and buy a new one at the office supply store ($8 - $50)

• Search on the Internet for other ideas: try "keyboard clean" or "clean keyboard" on googlehttp://www.informationweek.com/blog/main/archives/2007/12/is_your_compute.htmlhttp://www.ehow.com/how_2183738_clean-keyboard-dishwasher.html (ignore the part about removing the keycaps)
• See "... preferred method ... " above

Scientists stumbled upon a common item with a surprising attribute. This ubiquitous thing has

• five times as much bacteria as a toilet seat
• food poisoning bugs such as
  
  • e.coli
  • coliforms
  • staphylococcus auereus
  • enterobacteria

Excessive contact with this device exposes one to

• 150 times the acceptable limit of bacteria
• 4 of the pathogens are considered to be are 'potential' health hazards
• 1 of those bacteria was 'condemned' [ I have no idea what that means ]

Scientists stated that users are 'at high risk of becoming ill from contact.' The least dangerous of the resulting illnesses is lovingly referred to as "QWERTY Tummy.' What is this evil thing? It's right there at your fingertips: your computer's keyboard. Keyboards are infested because

• we eat over them, with food deposits encouraging the growth of millions of bacteria
• we don't wash our hands before using our keyboards
• during cold and allergy season we, well, you know....
• some of us never clean those keyboards

I guess it's some kind of computer virus." [ Sorry, I couldn't resist ]

More things you shouldn't touch . File them under "ew-wwww"

Walk Like An Egyptian, Talk Like An Economist

Amaze your friends. Become more desirable to your favorite gender. Become An Expert At Something (anything!).

Remember, fame is fleeting. Don't give up your day job.

Those Who Can, Do. Those Who Can't, Teach.

If you can't do either, at least you can sound like an educator.

Cleaning LCD Monitors

Improper cleaning methods, solutions, and materials could cause the surface of the screen to yellow and/or make the screen brittle and eventually cause cracking on the screen surface.

• Method:
  1. Select a cleaning solution from the list below
  2. Select a soft cloth or screen wipe as described below
  3. Apply the cleaning solution to your cloth. Do not apply any liquids on the LCD screen directly.
  4. Stroke the cloth across the display in one direction, moving from the top of the display to the bottom. Do not rub or polish.


• Cleaning Solutions:
  These are OK:
  • Water
  • Vinegar (mixed with water)
  • Isopropyl Alcohol
  • Petroleum Benzene
  Avoid the following:
  • Acetone
  • Ethyl alcohol
  • Ethyl acid
  • Ammonia
  • Methyl chloride
  • Alcohol or ammonia - based cleaners


• Cleaning materials:
  These are OK:
  • soft cotton cloth
  • Computer wipes - if the package specifically states that the wipes are for LCD laptop screens.
  Avoid these:
  • Rags (unless they are cotton and soft)
  • Paper towels

Computers For The Complete Bubba

Hi, Honey. I'm Home (Part IV)

The hiatus is over. Black Box and all of its invaluable tips, tricks, and traps will be back soon.

Until then, here is another quick tip:

http://www.truthfordummies.com

Hi, Honey. I'm Home (Part III)

The hiatus is over. Black Box and all of its invaluable tips, tricks, and traps will be back soon.

Until then, here is another quick tip:

You don't have to put up with Windows at all. You don't have to endure Microsoft's exorbitant prices and shoddy quality.

There are alternatives.

1. Apple's Macintosh computers are one alternative. It's a pricey alternative, but the quality is there.
2. Linux, specifically Ubuntu Linux (oo-boon-too) is a great alternative. More specifically Kubuntu - which is Ubuntu's non-identical twin. They are the same on the inside, but look different to the user.
   

15-18 years ago, Linux was clunky and not very reliable. Over the years, Linux has improved dramatically. Ubuntu (and all of its siblings) are my operating system of choice: they are simple to use and much more reliable and safe.

There is very little that you can do with Windows that you can't do as well - or better - with Ubuntu.

1. Ubuntu can run several thousand Windows programs.
2. Ubuntu (and all versions of Linux) have thousands and thousands of alternative software that is better than, comparable to, or at least very similar to the Windows offerings. Ubuntu has approximately 1000 programs built in, plus a universe of good, free software just a download away.
   

Ubuntu and its FREE software excel at all of most people's computer tasks:

• searching and reading the World Wide Web (Internet)
  
• using e-mail
• creating documents (especially homework, letters, and spreadsheets)
• keeping track of family finances
  
• saving, editing, sharing photos
  
• Internet chat
• playing games
  
• listening to music
• creating music CDs
• designing and building web sites
• blogging

There are some drawbacks to Ubuntu:

1. Ubuntu (and family and friends) is FREE! It costs ZERO. Zip. NADA. Nothing. Keep your money (to spend on gasoline).
2. Downside #2 is that almost all software for Ubuntu is also free (zero, zip, zed, etc.)
3. Ubuntu, &c, perform faster than a comparable computer that is running Windows.
4. Sadly, Ubuntu doesn't crash as often as does Windows. Darn! I just love getting Windows' Blue Screen of Death and losing time and data.
5. Linux/Ubuntu's internet work (and fun) and e-Mail are nearly risk-free. Microsoft Windows, by design, always has been - and always will be - inherently insecure and vulnerable to attacks from outside (and inside).
6. Documents created using Linux-based products can be shared back-and-forth (usually) with Windows documents and Macintosh documents.

Last, but not least, in Ubuntu Linux's dark side: every time someone switches from Microsoft products to Ubuntu/Linux, it devalues my Microsoft stock. It also hurts Bill Gates' shares of Microsoft stock. Now I know how it feels to own General Motors stock and watch its value evaporate every time I see a Prius go by. Woe is I.

Hi, Honey. I'm Home (Part II)

The hiatus is over. Black Box and all of its invaluable tips, tricks, and traps will be back soon.

Until then, here is another quick tip:

You CAN get away from that awful Microsoft Vista. Getting a good operating system - Windows XP, as one example - is not a cakewalk, but it's not hard, either.

You might need professional help (but don't we all, from time-to-time). You definitely need

1. a license for Windows XP
   
2. the XP installation disks and the Windows XP installation key.

If you don't have the XP disks and key, consider these possiblilites:

• if you have an older computer, you might have an XP license available
• have a computer store or qualified technician install XP for you
• by one on e-Bay - from a reputable e-Bay vendor

The easiest way to set up XP on your Vista computer is to use what's called a "dual boot." The idea is that when you try to install XP on a computer that already has an operating system, the XP installation process will offer the opportunity to wipe out the old operating system (in this case, Vista) or to set up a "dual boot." Choose "dual boot."

When your computer has Vista and XP and a successful dual boot option, and when you start your computer, you'll be presented with a choice: Windows XP or Windows Vista. When you choose one of those, the computer will start the operating system that you chose. You can choose either each time you start your computer.

Be aware: if you use a dual-boot system,

1. the first installation will keep all of the existing software installed on it
2. the second installation will NOT have any of the after-market software that you installed; you will have to install any software that you want to use and the second installation (XP)
   
3. both installations will have access to the data that you created and saved using the first ) installation (Vista) - if you use the standard 'file system' on both. Chance s are that you will use the standard file system - the one called"NTFS."

If Vista is giving you a lot of grief - that seems to be Standard Operating Procedure for Vista - you can improve your situation.

Hi, Honey, I'm Home

Coming soon, to a monitor near you.

The hiatus is over. Black Box and all of its invaluable tips, tricks, and traps will be back soon.

Until then, Here are some quick tips:

Vista